Jimmy John's Conspiracy?

Is there a conspiracy at Jimmy John's? What exactly do they put in their sweet bread? Judging from the sudden trip to bathroom, I'd say a new tasteless Jalapeno. Finished my #11 sandwich at approx. 1:20 p.m. and by 1:40 I had to rush to the bathroom for spurt that reminded me the morning after drinking tequila. So after rushing to the handicap stall, for the extra room and something to hold on to, I experienced what might be a new phenomenon; The Jimmy John's shits. Making matters worse, I shaved my head this weekend, as an act of Tom Brady defiance(see his post game interviews), so the lack of hair to soak up the sweat caused me to become dripping wet with sweat. Back to the tasteless Jalapeno in the bread: I say this because it felt like Satan burped through my anus. Very reminiscent of the time I chugged the salsa container, after adding habanero sauce, at the Mexican restaurant, on a $10 bet. Regardless, people poop enough after Jimmy John's, since it's usually consumed late at night after boozing, there is no need for them to induce bowel movements in the absence of alcohol. If this happens to you let me know, and we will alert the media, so the world will know of the Jimmy John's diarrhea conspiracy.