Friday

It's Friday. The work week will soon be over, and the fun will begin. The Bulls actually won last night, so they were able to get at least one win before the Circus comes to town. Tyrus Thomas is still flirting with the idea of becoming a beast. And I still want Kobe. While pooping today I was thinking, a thought that I have wondered for awhile now, how did the pig corner the breakfast meat market? Bacon, Sausage, & Ham, the three main breakfast meats. I guess you could argue that the cow produces dairy products, such as milk and cheese, and the Chicken delivers the much needed egg, but those are just byproducts. This is why I could never be Jewish or Islamic, and why those religions can't be right. The pig is the most universally eaten animal. Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner, all can be supplied from one animal. And it's delicious. What can you add to pretty much any sandwich to increase its deliciousness? Yeah, BACON. If God really didn't want us to eat any pork, because it's a dirty animal, why did he make it so frickin' yummy? The answer...eat pork.

Moving on the the weekend's forecast. Illinois plays OSU tomorrow at 2:30 on ABC. I could care less if they win. The fact that I can actually, realistically, hope they win, plus the fact that they are already guaranteed a bowl game, plus the fact that I can watch the game and it's not on the gay Big Ten Network, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I think it's going to be a close game and they have a chance to pull off an upset. Will I lose sleep if they lose, no. Will I drink like it's the superbowl if they win, yes. And then on Sunday I will be going to the Illinois basketball game where they will play a team that they might actually beat. So I will be able to say that I was in attendance for 1 of the few Illini Basketball victories this year.

As far as the NFL goes Sunday, not sure who the Bears play, but they will probably lose. They suck this year. My Niners suck this year. And the Pats are probably going to make me hate the state of Massachusetts even more than I already do when they win the Superbowl. The only thing I have to look forward to for the rest of the season is the MNF game in Minneapolis that I"m going to, to probably watch Adrian Peterson set a new rushing record, but I will have enough booze in me to help ease the pain. That and the SB. Party in the Chi again this year Braunski?

To wrap it all up, a few man rules that I have stolen from various Internet sources to remember for the rest of the year:

- Under No circumstance should two men share an umbrella
- A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight
- Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or slice of pizza, but not both
- Moaning about the brand of free beer in the fridge is forbidden. Temperature complaints are acceptable
- Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed by his buddies
- Lastly, never should a man ever use "LOL" for anything. It is just as easy to type haha. LOL is as gay as Halsted in Chicago.

Keep it real this weekend, and if anything exciting or funny happens, let us know and we'll give you some print.